The Experience of Life

People say that you learn a lot in school, and yes, you do; however, there is no greater lesson than the lessons you are exposed to just by experiencing life.

Take, for instance, the wonders of heartbreak. You fall in love, and for a time everything is wonderful. You believe that this is ordained by God, and you will spend your lives together in perfect harmony. Awww.

Then, they lie about something huge. Not, "You look amazing in that dress," when you, in fact, look like you glued some trash bags together because you couldn't afford that cocktail dress or three-piece suit at that mom-and-pop's outlet on 42nd street.

No, they lie about where a substantial amount of money went.

They freak out, try to cover their steps, say, "Someone must have stolen our identity," and harass the bank, claiming they "absolutely did NOT make those purchases."

Turns out the purchases were expensive hotel rooms with room service, and several hundred dollars taken from an ATM. Ironically, the hotel was purchased around the same time they said they had a business conference that the company was paying for. So, you call their place of employment, and are informed there was no conference and that those only happen every five years, not twice a year.

So, you start digging through bank statement after bank statement, and realize that every time they said they had a business conference, substantial money went missing. Not just for food, but hundreds and hundreds of dollars. So, you decide to take your own "work trip" to find out what the actual fuck is happening.

Upon further investigation, each hotel clerk who was available during your spouse's stay says they arrived with another person, and that they seemed "like they were closer than friends."

What do you do now? After a couple of days in an "anger room," smashing delicates with a hammer and baseball bat, you return home only to find your spouse in the bed in which you both experienced all types of intimacy, with someone else.

What have you learned? Perhaps the signs that lead up to this type of betrayal? Maybe when they say, "I don't know where those came from! Maybe it was my buddy's spouse's underwear, because I'm pretty sure they came in here for a short time during the last shin-dig. How could you think I would cheat? You're the only one," after you find someone else's underwear behind the chair where you sit to put on your shoes for work, you might investigate it then. No, instead you gave them a couple of more years because you loved them.

Over the next year or so, you relive the entire relationship over and over, discovering every nuance, word, and action that went against the words "I love you." You feel anger, sorrow, shame, regret, and just don't want to do a damn thing anymore! This is the worst thorn you've ever had jabbed into your side, and the therapy to remove it was extensive, and recovery was hard.

But this experience taught you something valuable for any future romantic endeavors. Yes, it makes getting back on that bicycle again difficult, but always hope for a new lesson.

Yes, you can learn from the experiences of others, but nothing really sticks until you, yourself, experience it. Be it painful, joyful, or neutral, living your life and having experiences gives you more wisdom than any book or lesson you've learned in school.