Influence

There's a term that has been thrown around, as a means to describe many types of social media "stars," and that's "influencer." I wrote a LinkedIn post about it, but I feel like it needs to be discussed further by looking at the term "Influence." Here we go with our pals Merriam-Webster, Influence means "the power or capacity to cause an effect in indirect or intangible ways," "the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command," "corrupt interference with authority for personal gain," "to affect or alter by indirect or intangible means," and "to have an effect on the condition or development of." Essentially, it means to have an impact on a thing or someone.

So, by extension, the term "Influencer" means to be someone who can affect the condition or development of society. Yes, there are different definitions, and I only selected a few of them, but I'm more concerned with the idea that so many people claim to be influencers without actually understanding the implications of this. I can only influence if my ideas, looks, words, and actions align with everyday people. At least this is what I'm learning. Yes, I'm very quick to appeal to one's "funny bone," because at my peak, I'm a very sarcastic human being, with a quick wit, and can be rather hilarious. Then there's my more serious side that I don't think many people are too fond of. I mix the two and relay a message that could help the masses out of their disconnected, locked-down, and mindless ailments. I'm not speaking from a place of authority or "knowing better," but I know better than a lot, and don't know much better than some.

Having an influence on society isn't something to be glorified, because it's unfortunate that we do it for money, so we allow ourselves to be malleable to fit what everyone deems to be "awesome." However, how deeply are we compromising even ourselves? We may preach that we desire people to be themselves, but what is "themselves?" How do we define this? Sincerely, we grow to be the person we believe those we have a deep adoration for would want from us. Some of us are so attached to desperately wanting that connection with our abusive parents, for instance, that we become something we were never intended on being. If I am to influence others, haw haw, I desire that influence to challenge people to have an honest look at themselves and the state of humanity. With this, they decide they want to "be the change," as Gandhi preached.

To be an "influencer," you really need to understand the responsibility behind it. Using this newly developed term, individuals like Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Malcom X, Martin Luther King Jr., and John F. Kennedy were influencers. How about people like Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Hitler, Stalin, Charles Manson, Jeffery Dahmer... let's not forget there are two "leaders" in the world today that are actually influencing some really messed up shit, and we're turning a blind eye or complaining about it. The thing is, the largest form of "protest" you can have is to harbor a direct influence on yourself to be a more loving, compassionate, empathetic, generous, and kind-hearted individual, because no one but you can make you do that. I can't, clearly, the more loving influencers that existed can't, and, unfortunately, the ones who create the most damage are the ones we allow ourselves to mirror. We even deny we're behaving in such a disconnected, cruel, careless, and negatively selfish kind of way.

My mama used to say to me, "If you're going to be selfish, do something that benefits not only yourself, but everyone around you." This doesn't mean con someone out of money and destroy their lives because you think you "deserve it." Anyone like that should be slapped around until the stupid is gone. No, it means to learn how to deal with yourself. Be brutally honest with who it is you choose to be daily, "Oh, she looked at me funny, it's her fault that I'm on Facebook attacking her, and will now light her house on fire." Really? You just justified being a class-A lunatic. What if the "funny look" was gas? You just sought out, based on your own interpretation of something irrelevant to your life, to destroy an innocent person. Perhaps this person was the one donating large sums of money on your fake GoFundMe page, because she really felt compassion for you. This makes you a dick, and you should suffer the consequences of your actions, and hopefully have a brain that works well enough to realize you made all those choices yourself.

Here's an example; imagine someone who finds it fun to exploit kind, loving, generous people just so they can be right. This person blames everyone around them for their own failings, and when this person is called out on their piss poor behavior, they excuse it, even clean from substances, with "I don't remember." They even concocted pretty elaborate schemes for "not remembering," they did them. This person after the hammer is laid down, thinks psychological drugs are going to fix all the abusive damage they've done their entire life.

Yet, the influence the world is so keen on grabbing onto is this type of thing. Yeah, truth sucks, doesn't it? Sure, no one wants to believe that they have a lot of screws loose in their brains that need to be adjusted, replaced, and or tightened, because they're too afraid that their "image will be tarnished," however, if you can tap into that one fragment that says, "who cares if it's tarnished, it's the truth," and proceed on the footing of "truth," you would be amazed what type of person you can be.

The only "influence," I desire to have is one that assists someone to want to influence themselves into becoming something better. To be honest, learn how to observe their own thought patterns, how that bleeds into their behavioral patterns, and to make conscious choices to do the best they can, and to be keenly aware of what others may need to work on to create a loving and peaceful environment for everyone.

Remember, people have free will, and we choose what we allow to influence us. Learning to have faith in more loving and gracious things instead of the most horrific things will help us go a long way. Only you are the ultimate influencer over your own self, and you choose what things you desire to influence you. Stop allowing those we deem "in power" to tell you how you're supposed to feel, who you are, and that you're an idiot; this makes you weak. Instead, realize that maybe something brilliant exists inside all of us, including you, that you should seek to find. We influence all things, and if we desire to have a more connected, generous, loving, compassionate, and empathic world, we'd better start with the one who has ultimate say over how we think and behave...

Ourselves.