Importance

I'm going to kick this off with a couple of definitions of the word "Important," because "Importance" is built from this word to express a particular word tense, but the meaning is pretty much the same. Again, after a quick communication with our friends, Merriam-Webster, important is "marked by or indicative of significant worth or consequence: valuable in content or relationship." Significant worth, this could be the mere fact that you love someone so much that they are significantly worth it to you. Consequences could involve something that you will have to pay a price for. For instance, if you find gaining the attention of someone who is married, with the hope that you tear apart a family because you're obsessed with them, important. The importance of this, for you, is having the "object of your obsession" with you at all times, no matter whose home you wreck. Importance requires love, be it a false idea of love or the real deal. Finding something important requires a certain level of love, no matter what it's actually referenced as, like "obsession."

I addressed love in a previous blog, but for this one, I'm going to select two different definitions of which we've given this word. "The object of attachment, devotion, or admiration." Attachment can be obsessive if not really understood. We become attached to ideas, people, thoughts, pets, foods, and so on. We become almost obsessed with these things, and we slap the label of "love" on them, but this is fairly unhealthy. Admiration means you see how wonderful someone or something is, and you bestow upon it a level of adoration. This can turn obsessive as well, just like devotion; what are you devoted to? It could be a very destructive mindset. So with this definition, and these explanations, you find things that aren't really beneficial for everyone, utterly important as you love these things, no matter how crappy they are or how you define "love."

"Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties," which can be contributed to family and/or friends. Even lovers, for example, you have personal ties to your husband, you were friends before, fell in the romantic sense of the word "love," and viola! Perhaps you have a favorite Grandma, and you develop a deep and meaningful relationship with them, and you feel they are insanely important to you, and you'll kill whoever decides to cause harm to this person. This would more relate to an unconditional sort of love. You desire their happiness, even if it doesn't involve you, and you want them to be safe and secure. They become of the utmost importance to you, period.

Importance, essentially, is where you put your energy. Be it a worthy cause for the betterment of humanity, or an unworthy cause like tearing a family apart because you want to have sexual relations with your boss. What do you deem important to you?

Everything has a positive and negative connotation, as I've been working to point out, because the world is obsessed with positivity and negativity. "Importance," can harbor both, because I've seen good people find their family, friends, lovers, to be important. They also find it important that they find happiness, even if they're excluded from that equation, and they also find it important to live in honesty, truth, and integrity. Yes, these are part of the same type of thing, but you can't have one without integrating the others.

Then there are those who put their level of importance into an idea. I'm going to use one of my ex-lover-ishes. He was obsessed with taking down the government for trafficking his daughters, which may not even be the reality. He thought the president, Trump (who is proving to be more of a Hitler), was going to listen to him when he saved money to fly to Washington D.C. and storm the capital. I found it commendable, but knew it was a waste of money, and I thought he was going to lay that hammer down, but no. He had this idea of God that was abhorrent, and he trashed women whilst professing to be an advocate of women. Boy, did he make my mama and me out to be small, horrible women. Why? Because we're smart, we didn't take his shit, and no matter what hand I extended to help him be less fucked up, he would slap it, tell me I'm an idiot, and ignore any sense of desire to grow. Another liar, he found the glorification he got from acting like he was a good dad to dynamic daughters (the girls might be) to be more important than becoming a reasonable person who could protect and take care of these daughters, and not make them feel less than they are. He refused to see what a fucked up man he was, and how little he thought of women.

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was psychologically and emotionally abusive. I even told him once, "What are you going to do, get your daughters and tell them, while they're struggling with the abuse they have gone through, if your story is true, that they're just 'being difficult,' and 'have a period because they deserve it?'" From what I learned observing his crap for two and a half months, those girls were taken because he wasn't a stable parent at all. I didn't glorify him, agree with his desire to control the way I thought, or worship him, so that made me lesser than. A child of Lucifer, I guess, yet I had more love, kindness, understanding, compassion, empathy, intellect, and observational skills in my little finger than he did in his entire body! I said, "God damn," and I was the worst person alive, who needed to be emotionally abused and psychologically messed with for it. He did this constantly, a complete narcissist who rallies against narcissists, and honestly, I gave up reading anything he had to say. He was just as hateful, judgmental, abusive, and corrupt as the perpetrators he was going after. A very sad case, but I don't have the time or energy to even remotely try and fix his "stinking thinking," as my mama says.

He would say he found importance in God and fighting a corrupt system, yet the reality is he found importance in the glorification he got from ignorant people and degrading people who knew more than he did. He wouldn't admit it, and will never admit it, which is why he will always stay stuck, and never achieve the things he boasts he will achieve, and sincerely believed the government was out to get him. They're not; he's deluded in the idea that he has no Ego and that he has knowledge that will get him killed.

It's sad, however, "importance" isn't just positive or negative; it is something we put our energy into. Just like this blog holds importance to me because it shares with the world the lessons my mama gave me since meeting her in 2005. It's because I find her important, her lessons, her life, all of it. I find what she loves to be important, including myself. I find my dog, the cats to be very important. I find a comfortable life to be really important.

Sincerely, if you have a moment in your busy lives, perhaps have a look at what you find to be important to you, i.e. get real with what you actually put your thoughts, heart, and time into.