Secrets

I'm going to kick this off properly with a wonderful definition from the Merriam-Webster dictionary, "Secret: kept from knowledge or view, marked by the habit of discretion, working with hidden aims or methods, not acknowledged, remote from human frequentation or notice, revealed only to the initiated, designed to elude observation or detection containing information whose unauthorized disclosure could endanger national security." This is all in relation to being used as an adjective; the nouns are about the same, but explained in a way you'd explain nouns.

To break it down, a secret is kept from view (or knowledge), which can be something as awesome as a celebration for someone's birthday or something vindictive like your intention with someone who is clearly in love with you. Discretion, this is also good and bad; to keep something hidden to protect innocence, or something harmful like an affair. Hidden aims or methods; a secret ingredient to a recipe, or slowly poisoning your child to keep them sick so they can be on disability, and you get money from the government. Unacknowledged sort of speaks for itself; however, it's something everyone knows yet completely ignores. To be removed from notice; whatever the government is hiding, or a moment shared between spouses that is never brought up or shared. Initiated; someone you trust, and finally, more "government cover-ups," kind of like the existence of extra-terrestrial life.

Essentially, secrets are good and bad. It's like a lie, you lie to protect, and you keep a secret to protect. This is not necessarily a bad thing; however, we have to examine what the hell it is we are trying to protect. Something a new partner should know, perhaps? Maybe it is something that you should've informed your children about, but you don't because it's "easier" for you to let them go about their lives believing everything you did and said was for "their own good," and it turns out you were controlling and abusing your children?

The thing is, we believe all things are hidden, and the issue is, especially if you believe in a higher power of some sort, they are not. So what are we really hiding, and just because another person has no idea, doesn't mean a vast plethora of celestial type beings, your mom, your lover, or your children, don't know. Perhaps they don't say anything, and if we're talking celestials, they're just seeing if you'll do something different. Ironically, when you do something different, suddenly you have an urge to start sharing your secrets with those who deserve to know (initiated).

We allow, also, our secrets to determine how we proceed in life, and for many of us, our secrets are things we're ashamed of, and sometimes, secretly hope that someone wants to keep things a secret too. However, some secrets are not harmful, and some secrets are insanely harmful. The only way to really figure out what is a good secret and a bad secret is to understand what it is to discern. Remember that blog?

To be able to discern requires a certain level of not only self-awareness, which should always come first, but also an awareness of others. You learn what's safe to share and what isn't, and for what reason. If it's to avoid prison because you have twelve bodies buried under your garage, that's protecting something rather evil. If it's to ensure the person you love isn't harmed by words that were spewed by your dis-compassionate boss at a drunken company Christmas party, then you're doing your best to make sure the one you love is emotionally okay. However, do you want to work for a boss who is willing to verbally degrade your loved one in your face? What do you do? Defend them? Do you quit? Do you punch your boss in the face and get fired?

To sum up, secrets can be something that brings immediate joy to someone, or protects someone who doesn't deserve to be harmed. On the reverse side of that coin, it can create a life that can only be defined as the seventh level of hell. The only way to be free is to get real with yourself about what you've chosen, what you're choosing, and if you want to keep choosing something so reckless for not only people around you, but yourself. Secrets can stop you from honestly, and completely, living your life if you allow them to take hold of all of your choices in life. Not all secrets are bad; however, to know how to discern, you first need to learn how to discern your own inner dialogue and recognize that you have complete say over how you think and what thoughts you choose to act on. Decide what you want, because if a life lived under secrecy and lies is what you want, then by all means, live that life.

Wouldn't it be better, though, to live a life where you feel good about yourself and have nothing to hide? With nothing to hide, they have no means to control you, unless they know the one thing that they can do to make you do anything to protect the one thing from being mutilated or killed. Maybe not allowing them to know that one thing will ensure that one thing cannot be harmed or taken from you; however, what is that one thing? If it's your puppy, that's noble; if it's a dark secret that has detrimental effects, well, it's up to you to turn over a new leaf.

Or not...