Observation

"Oh, God, some woman is going to write a blog about some observation she had at one time, ugh!" No, I'm going to discuss observation, perhaps using some of my own, all filtered through my perspective...

Did I just blow your mind?

I figured I didn't. Anyway, what is observation? There are several definitions according to the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, however, we're going to focus on this one, "to watch carefully especially with attention to details or behavior for the purpose of arriving at a judgment," and this one, "to come to realize or know, especially through consideration of noted facts." So, through observation, you learn things, how to cook a steak or how to rip someone's heart out through emotional manipulation. OH SNAP! Collecting these statistics leads one to become wise in steak cooking or heartbreaking. Okay, these are just examples. The trick? Observing your damn self. "What!?!? I'm like, not able to do that, I can only see other people, except for when I look in a mirror," shut up. Seriously, haven't you ever contemplated your actions? Things you've said? How you say something, how you stand when you say it, and so forth?

This part is a struggle, so it's good to have an incredibly honest person who has made many changes along the way. I suggest befriending some elderly people, or someone with a brain AND heart. "Wait, you can't live without either..." Can't you? Go outside. If there are no people, find a place where there are. I can guarantee that a large percentage of that group lacks a heart, a brain, or both. Not the organs, but the metaphorical brain and heart. Perhaps you're one of these people...enter the outside OBSERVER (holy shit, she said it.) If you're ready to hear some harsh truth, simply ask them, "Be honest with me, do I lack a brain or a heart?" Now, someone who has no idea how to tap into another person and know who they are, they'll say, "No, you are smart and kind," you know, to feed an ego. An honest person, someone who has their shit together and is firmly aware that roses don't grow behind them as they walk, will tell you, "Well, you have heart, but sometimes you can be a real ass. You are smart when it comes to some things, but in many others, you're a complete idiot." Sure, this will hurt, but figure out why. Ask more questions, and get to know thyself, brah! The point is, through observing yourself and getting honest with yourself, you'll be able to recognize behaviors in others.

FOR EXAMPLE, I was told once, long, long ago, that I was incredibly dramatic and acted with a victimized mentality. Of course, it offended me and hurt my feelings, I even believed this person hated me and was being a meanie (see what I did there, winky face.) As the years progressed, after rebelling against the "oppressor," or whatever my faulty logic was at the time, I finally realized that I was an overly dramatic victim. "He didn't want me cuz I'm fat," "They think I'm stupid," "They think I'm not good enough..." boo hoo. So what? If he didn't want you just because you're fat and not a lunatic, then he's not worth your time. Are you being stupid? Does the evidence clearly show you're acting intelligently? Are you good enough? Who has the right to decide that? Doesn't it matter if you're enough for someone else? Are you enough for yourself? This goes on for the rest of your life, but once you collect the data from observing yourself, observing others becomes quite interesting. Hell, you'll meet people more dramatic and victimized than you are! Those are decent moments if they don't completely destroy your life, but to realize you weren't as bad as you thought is almost relieving. Because trust me, there's a moment where you think, "I absolutely suck!" The more it's observed, your observation becomes knowledge, maybe even wisdom. They become facts. Evidence is more than just some physical information; it's noting repeated behaviors over and over through observing a series of various people in various locations. No matter where someone is from, behaviors are so similar that it can be deemed insane. Sure the vibe of another country might seem chill, but the level of personal dramas and bullshit still exists.

To sum up, if you truly want to be called "observant," and it be a compliment, your first step is to have a look at yourself, so good luck man because you're going to need it!