Love & Hate

There is a saying, "There's a fine line between love and hate." I'm not sure who is popular for saying that; however, if I halt all activity right now, I could Google it (Google, think of this as a free advertisement, unless you want to pay me for this honorable mention; I mean, I won't argue.) Okay, there's no one person; the closest are bands, like The Persuaders, then another said The Pretenders, and an Irish writer named Cecilia Ahern. This statement came to my awareness from my mama, which was reinforced by my art instructor, who blurted it out after having a conversation with another student. My mama said that hate is often bred from loving someone who decided to hurt you over and over and over. This made me believe that hate is love turned putrid. With some proper definitions, you'll understand just how interwoven everything is.

To define Love and Hate, let's reference something else: "Love, therefore, is a strong feeling for a person or thing; hate is a strong feeling against" (2 Corinthians 5:10). That's right, folks, good ol' Corinthians from that one book....what's it called...oh yeah, the Bible. Here's another: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Ironically, "hate is a strong feeling against" is the closest definition I found, but against what? "Well, love, dumbass," no, not love. The object for which love was given and abused. So now, let's check out Merriam-Webster's classic called, "The Dictionary," there are several versions of a "Dictionary," like Spiderman, for instance. Hate is defined as, "intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury," and "extreme dislike or disgust." For love, it's defined as, "strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties," "attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers," "affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests," "warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion," and/or/also "unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: such as the fatherly concern of God for humankind; brotherly concern for others." I promise there's a point.

So, now that that's been defined, what we can derive is simply that love and hate are opposites. There's a statement we all know well: "Opposites attract," I'd presume to create a balanced whole in some way. "How do love and hate form a balance?" You ask? Hell if I know. Here's what I can presume, however: that we grow to hate something we don't necessarily understand or like. Concerning love, we fall in love, be it a lover, a family member, a puppy (aww, puppies!)

Let's say the thing we fall in love with hurts us for some reason; we hate it. We despise it. In a lot of cases, we wish it harm, too.

How about hate on a racial level, or sexual level, just a general disdain for humanity with no real explanation as to how that disdain was born? Well, I can only say we know what we're taught. Your dad's an avid Ku Klux Klan enthusiast and taught you from a young age that anyone who isn't white, straight, patriotic, and whatever other lame-ass excuses one has to justify being a violent tyrant. This is what you become, believing it's the right way, and probably being completely unaware that you're just a hateful ass. You just know hate. Then one day, as you're being held up at gunpoint by some down-on-his-luck, desperate, straight, white, patriotic guy, let's say a person who happens to be an unpatriotic, black, gay guy, leaps out to protect you from being shot. Picture RuPaul (I don't think RuPaul is unpatriotic; I just wanted to paint a picture) leaping at the gunman who is demanding that you give him your wallet or you are going to die. The gun goes off, and the RuPaul look-alike dies.

Sad day, right? What happens in this moment? "Oh, man, this is one of those riddles I heard about." This can be a pivotal moment that catalyzes change, where hate turns to love.

How about love turning to hate? "Oh snap." Yes, love can turn to hate; for instance, you're in love with the most wonderful person. This person makes you feel worthy, loved, adored, doted on, just absolutely marvelous. Four years in, you find out they have been having affairs for the last two of those years, with several others. You then realize the random STD you were confused about contracting, thinking it was an unfortunate incident with a public toilet seat, wasn't that toilet seat after all.

What is now the feeling that burns in you? Fury? Rage? A feeling of realizing how blind and stupid you chose to be because you loved this person? Suddenly, a creature like, I don't know, a badger with rabies, takes you over, and you're now out for "blood" in some way. Even if it's just a severe beating of their ego and material assets. Hate grows in you for this person, the time, love, loyalty, all for nothing; completely disregarded, and you scream in the middle of Walmart after seeing the picture your friend sent via text, "FUCK!!!"

A complete mental break amid complacent strangers, who throw up their smartphones for their next TikTok entitled, "Hillbilly Breakdown in Walmart," or whatever obnoxious title people come up with. Hate turned to love, and love turned to hate. There are different ways; for instance, maybe you loved a teddy bear until someone said you're stupid for loving a teddy bear, and you hate the object for just existing instead of realizing you hate yourself because someone said you should. I mean, it can go on and on.

My point (thank God, I thought this was never going to end): Love and Hate very much share a fine line between them. You can go either way, and yes, it starts with a choice. It's expected to feel hate towards one who used, abused, and threw you away, but try to refrain from allowing it to be all that you are...or not. I mean, I'd strongly advise you to process that shit and move on, because that hate can rob you of life. Love is excruciatingly difficult, yes, but hate can make your life just as complicated, if not more complicated than it already is.

Love is life and hate is death, again, opposites. Understand that there's a line because, as they say, the fine line is called indifference; you can't hate something you have no feeling towards, nor can you love it. I think we should stop being so ruled by the hate we feel and try to be ruled by love, no matter how horrible it feels when someone craps all over it. Love them. It's abundantly clear they don't even know what it is.

You never know; maybe they'll learn something.