Discernment

Today, we're going to discuss "discernment." Can you say it? Dis-sern-ment...Discernment. So, to start, let's look up the word, "Discern," which, according to Merriam-Webster, is to detect something (clearly I'm paraphrasing, so let's not get irrational here) "to recognize or identify as separate and distinct," and "to come to know or recognize mentally." It means you know how to read a room. Experience makes this a skill, and the more you learn from your life experience, the more you can detect a lie, an intention, a motive, a pattern, and so forth. It's not just one person who has different patterns than everyone else, no, because behavior is rather consistent among our species.

For example, let's say you have a habit of dating someone who always makes you feel like complete shit. After about four of them, you begin to notice a similar pattern. Sure, the words are different, the situation is different, and the playing characters are different; however, the behavioral patterns are the same.

Here's a quick question before I keep trotting through my point: When will you notice the similarities?

Now, you finally ask yourself, "Why do I keep getting in relationships with these types of people?" They say opposites attract, so if you're an authentically kind person, you're sort of doomed for jackasses. This is my experience, I was a jackass, dated kind people, I learned how to be kind and dated jackasses. Does this mean it's a curse? No, I'd attribute this to some karma, and there's always hope, right?

Anyhow, these behavioral patterns become incredibly recognizable the more you experience them. In my case, I was these things until I woke up to the fact I was a living, breathing monster. When I learned in what ways I was being this said monster, I was able to pinpoint the behaviors in others. Before it's, "what a jerk..." and then you're a jerk to twelve other people the next three hours. I digress...

To my point: when you finally learn these patterns, you begin to recognize it earlier and earlier, you know, before they put a ring on it and take everything you worked so hard for. You notice it sometimes in the first few months, weeks, sometimes days, and you turn your happy ass around and walk away, because, you know that rodeo and you just don't want to!

To discern involves recognizing the patterns in others and knowing the inevitable outcome. Use this, don't be a victim, trust me it drained too many years of my life, and before that I was making victims and playing victim...I believe the coined terminology is "dicktim." Whoever came up with that term should be congratulated because it's now a common term in my group of peeps.

Start paying attention to what you say and what you do, and see what lines up and what doesn't. Your words are nothing but lies if what you do doesn't match them. To discern regarding others might mean you take some time to, as my mama always says, "have an honest look at yourself."

Until the next!